Saving a Marriage Through Therapy

Marriage in the Indian culture is considered sacred and an unbreakable bond between man and wife. In the Indian scenario, the concept of arranged marriage is more popular than love marriage.

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In this day and age, where the current generation is more into live-in relationships and love marriages, some still succumb to peer pressure and choose arranged marriage. Although the real questions here are “Will the two of them be happy in their marriage?”, “Will they both be compatible with one another?” etc.

After marriage, if the couple cannot find common ground, have a difference of opinions, superiority complexes, inferiority complexes, dominance, etc. then that is when the real problem begins.

In such a situation, be it an arranged marriage or love marriage, it does no good to anyone to break the relationship. Why break a marriage/relationship when it can be mended? Maintaining a relationship takes effort from both the partners and one is not ready to listen to the other, then it is time they go for couples counseling.

Counseling for couples is a form of psychotherapy. A third person called the counselor intervenes and helps the partners gain insight into their relationship, suggest ways to mend it, resolve issues, and improve the understanding between the two. Some of the top marriage counselors in Bangalore have offered a safe place, such as a medical institution, to provide marriage counseling.

Signs that you need a marriage counselor:

• You start overthinking every move your partner makes and fail to communicate with your partner or clarify things.
• When there no longer seems to be any trust in each other’s decisions on important matters and when you no longer feel comfortable sharing your problems.
• Even if one of the partners is done compromising and is not motivated to work things between yourselves.
• All that the couple does is criticize and show contempt towards each other.
• The time you spend with each other reduces.
• Your partner starts forcing his/ her will on you and tries to control you.
• One of you is convinced that the problems outweigh the good memories and no hope for this relationship anymore.
• You become detached and disconnected from your partner and do things all on your own. You stop involving your partner in your activities.
• You don’t seem to be committed to the relationship anymore and develop mistrust in your partner.
• While you were in denial all along that everything is fine, but then comes a moment of realization that crossed the limits.

There are a few places that offer marriage counseling in Bangalore, and the best way to find a therapist is to list the ones in your area with google. Just type in “relationship counseling Bangalore”, for example, and you will have a long list to choose from.

Counselors mostly focus on getting to the root of the major conflicts and try to resolve it. During the couple counseling sessions, the therapists believe in counseling the partners in a relationship together rather than separately.

Apart from actively engaging in giving advice and solutions to the couple’s problem, the therapist also encourages the couples to come up with activities that could rekindle the love they once had. Also, compared to any relatives, family members, or friends, therapists are extraordinarily professional and set clear objectives before initiating the counseling process.

How do couples counseling work?

The key to reaping the benefits of couples counseling is by first believing in therapy. Even if one partner has trust in the process of counseling and is motivated to give the relationship another chance and revive their marriage, half the battle is won.

The journey is not going to be fun and not easy, but it takes effort from the couples to make their marriage or relationship success. The process begins with exploring what the problems in the relationship are.

The therapist listens to the couple’s different viewpoints and figures out what is lacking in the marriage. The counselor then suggests some activities or exercises for the couple to do.

Based on the respective activities’ results, the therapist explains to the couple what the real problem is and suggests them with a list of solutions to resolve the conflict and leaves it to the couple to decide how they want to work things out.

Simple steps they could adopt is changing their communication style and understanding their partner’s behavior. Respecting the other person’s wishes and making small compromises could give surety to the other that maybe it is still worth putting in the effort to save the marriage.